Am i still alive?

Is this whats called life?
When my pasts and present in panorama yet seen nor different
When the some pasts supposed be disgustful when recalled yet present seeming more

Should i have prayed 2 remain when i was happy a sad man?

Would i have been?, 2 say i prayed for just but a season be permanent
Would things by now be how?

Then i thought i was insane, that made me concur 2 the thought of change believing by now i would be sane, but neither my belief work nor the pasts again

Am centered confused, going back i'm fathomed bad;
going further i'm seeing unclear
standing still i'm dizzily staggering

Is this a better life?
Is this intoxication of death?

Breeze of living seeming so poisoned, rain of life seeming acidic, food of joy tasteless, shelters of parts transparent, shoes of walking unsound, shore 2 walk on nor sagacously leveled, morale 2 lie or sit nor transpiring

Mind is blocked, heart's steadily beaten, eyes blinking, ears open, but body in entirety is numb.

Do i have wings?
I could have flown off
Am i a lion-hearted man?
I could have withstand, endure not 2 whoop anymore
Am i a pigeon-livered human?
Why is tears filling my nestled abode?

By:
Beryl Sane